Have you ever thought about the prince?

He comes out of nowhere. No name. No history. Nothing. He is tall, dark, and handsome. Her savior.

But she! She has a history in every sense.
She’s been abused, cursed, and nearly killed. She ran away from home as a teenager and lived with several different men. She made a deal with the devil. She’s beautiful. And she can sing.  But oh, her history.*

In almost every Disney princess story, the girl is abused. And the man is nothing but a body.  Tall dark and handsome equals savior.

I’m not ranting on Disney. Just thinking about Prince Charming. I’ve been wondering how to find him. You know, singing in the woods. Waiting to be swept off my feet.  But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if I really want to find him.

I mean, who is this Prince guy, anyway?
Why is he still single, if he’s so good looking? Wait- IS he still single? Did he dump his last girlfriend? Or did she dump him? If she dumped him- why? How many have there been? Can I talk to a few of them before riding off into the sunset with him? What kind of family does he come from? Was *he* abused? (There seems to have been a lot of that going on in the Disney kingdoms.) Does he have any kids? If so, is he current on is child support payments? How about addictions? Does he know how to do dishes? Does he do them? Has he ever cleaned a toilet? Does he drop his royal cloak on the floor when he takes it off? How obsessed is he with video games? Football? Or is it jousting? And let’s talk about ego. How are his listening skills. Is he kind to his mother?

Actual photos from Match.com

Dating web sites promote themselves by flashing pictures of Prince Charming. No background. No history. Just tall dark and handsome saviors. Reading profiles is a little like reading ads for houses for sale. (I’ve moved a lot, so “house for sale” ads are he ones with which I’m most familiar.)  If a house is called “cozy,” you should interpret as “cramped.” Dating ads are kind of the same.

“I’m not perfect,” is code for “I cheated on my wife and am hoping you’ll be ok with that.”
Income: “I’d rather not say.” Code for, “I live in my mother’s basement and play video games.”
On LDS dating sites, over 50% of the men claim to be “temple worthy” but to not have recommends. Really? You all filled out your profile in the week between your recommend expiring and your appointment with your bishop? How odd is that?
But most upsetting of all is the fact that of the 5 men I’ve contacted more than once, (we’ve had actual conversations or gone on dates), 3 of them have turned out to **still be married!**

Thank you, PI skills.

But hey! They were all tall, dark and handsome!

I’m thinking Cinderella, Snow White and Aurora should learn to do background checks.

And I’ve been reevaluating my position. 

The more I think about it, the more I realize, I really like having the bed to myself. I like staying up as late as I want, fixing– or not fixing– what I want for dinner, watching the shows I want to watch, listening to my music, having all the preset stations, being able to read with the light on all night if I want, and basically calling all the shots myself. 

Because, the fact is, I never lived on my own before! I went from my parent’s house, to my grandma’s house, to my husband’s house. I never got to chose what I did, how I budgeted, or what movies I watched. At age 44–welcome to independence! 

Is it lonely sometimes? Absolutely. Do I wish I had a partner in parenting? You bet!  Am I willing to give up the benefits of being single for a jerk who lies to get on a date with me? 

Not in a million years.   

If Prince Charming is out there, he’d better be as good on the inside as he is on the outside. But honestly, I don’t think I’m ready to find him quite yet.  =)

*Princesses alluded to here include, in order of reference–
abused: Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel
cursed: Ariel, Snow White, Aurora
nearly killed: Snow White
ran away as a teen and lived with several different men: Snow White
made a deal with the devil: Ariel
beautiful and can sing: all Disney princesses